ANOTHER DIET?

                                                                     “Never eat more than you can lift.” - Miss Piggy

”Part of the secret to life is to eat what you want and let the food fight it out inside.” - Mark Twain

”I’ve been on a constant diet for the last two decades.  I’ve lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.” - Erma Brombeck

”I went on a diet, swore off all of my favourite calorie-laden foods and desserts and in just 14 days I lost two weeks.” - Unknown

”Vegetables are a must on a diet.  I suggest carrot cake, zuchinni bread, and pumpkin pie.” - Garfield

EAT YOUR FRUIT & VEGGIES!

”An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.” - Will Rogers

”Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?” - Unknown

”I do not like broccoli and I haven’t liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. Now I’m President of the United States and I’m not going to eat any more broccoli.” - George Bush

“Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.” - Doug Larson

“Some things you have to do every day. Eating seven apples on Saturday night instead of one a day just isn’t going to get the job done.” - Jim Rohn                  

“You cannot sell a blemished apple in the supermarket, but you can sell a tasteless one provided it is shiny, smooth, even, uniform and bright.” - Elspeth Huxley

YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT!

“If you are what you eat, with all of the genetically modified and imitation foods we eat, what the heck are we?” - Unknown

“Personally, I stay away from natural foods. At my age, I need all of the perservatives I can get.” - George Burns

“High tech tomatoes. Mysterious milk. Supersquash. Are we supposed to eat this stuff? Or is it going to eat us? - Annita Manning

“Chemicals, n: Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.” - Unknown

“You are what you think you eat.” - Tom Robbins

“Tell me what you eat, and I shall tell you what you are.” - Jean-Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

“I won’t eat anything that has intelligent life, but I’d gladly eat a network executive or a politician.” - Marty Feldman

“How can a nation be great if its bread tastes like Kleenex?” - Julia Child

THE DOCTOR IS IN!

“Let food be thy medicine, thy medicine shall be thy food.” - Hipporates

“When diet is wrong, medicine is of no use. When diet is correct, medicine is of no need.” - Ancient Ayurvedic Proverb

“It’s bizarre that the produce manager is more important to my children’s health than the pediatrician.” - Meryl Streep

                                                                     MOM, DAD & THE KIDS!      

“In the childhood memories of every good cook, there’s a large kitchen, a warm stove, a simmering pot, and a mom.” - Barbara Costikyan

“There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won’t, and that’s a wife who can’t cook and will.” - Robert Frost

“The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant.  We once had a waiter in Canada who said, ‘Could I get your check?’ and we answered, ‘How about the menu first?’” - Erma Brombeck

“Vegetables are something God invented to let women get even with their children.” - P. J. O’Rourke

COOKS & COOKING!

“Don’t take a butchers advise on how to cook meat. If he knew, he’d be a chef.” - Andy Rooney

“Cooking is at once child’s play and adult joy.  And cooking done with care is an act of love.” - Craig Clairborne

“Happy and successful cooking doesn’t rely only on know-how; it comes from the heart, makes great demands on the palate and needs enthusiasm and a deep love of food to bring it to life.” - Georges Blanc

“The secret of good cooking is, first, having a love of it...If you’re convinced that cooking is drudgery, you’re never going to be good at it, and you might as well warm up something frozen.” - James Beard

“Bad cooks and the utter lack of reason in the kitchen have delayed human development longest and impaired it most.” - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

MORE MUSINGS!

“To eat is human.  To digest devine.” - Mark Twain

“MacDonald’s in Tokyo is terrible revenge for Pearl Harbour.” - S. I. Hayakawa

“The next time you feel like complaining, remember that your garbage disposal probably eats better than 30 percent of the people in the world.” - Robert Orben

“The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food.” - Russian Proverb

“How can you govern a country with 246 varieties of cheese?” - Charles De Gaulle

“Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, I say, are you going to drink that?” - Lisa Clayman

“Of soup and love, the first is best.” - Spanish Proverb

“Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time?” - Billy Connolly

”No man is lonely while eating spaghetti: it requires so much attention.” - Christopher Morley

”I come from a home where gravy is a beverage.” - Erma Brombeck

”To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art.” - La Rochefoucauld

”It is so beautifully arranged on the plate - you know someone’s fingers have been all over it.” - Julia Childs

”Hunger: One of the few cravings that cannot be appeased with another solution.” - Irwin Van Grove

”Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage.  Lettuce pray.” - Unknown

”You can say this about ready-mixes; the next generation isn’t going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make.” - Earl Wilson

”If you wish to make an apple pie truly from scratch, you must first invent the universe.” - Carl Sagan

”There is a lot more juice in grapefruit than meets the eye.” - Unknown

”The war against hunger is mankind’s war of liberation.” - John F. Kennedy

”When I buy cookies, I eat just four and throw the rest away.  But first, I spray them with Raid so I won’t dig them out of the garbage later. Be careful, though, because that Raid really doesn’t taste that bad.” - Janette Barber

“Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry gets the best of the argument.” - Richard Whately

“Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.” - George Benard Shaw

“The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.” - Steven Wright

“A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.” - Unknown

“We owe much to the fruitful meditation of our sages, but a sane view of life is, after all, elaborated mainly in the kitchen.” - Joseph Conrad

“I don’t believe you have to be a cow to know what milk is.” - Ann Landers

                                                                             “Dieting: A system of starving yourself to death so you can live a little longer.” - Jan Murray

”My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four, unless there are three other people.” - Orson Wells

”Seize the moment. Remember all of those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.” - Erma Brombeck

”No diet will remove the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.” - George Bernard Shaw

“Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.” - Fran Lebowitz

“I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals.  I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” - A. W. Brown

“This special feeling towards fruit, its glory and abundance, is I would say universal... We respond to strawberry fields or cherry orchards with a delight that a cabbage patch or even an elegant vegetable garden cannot provoke.” - Jane Grigson

“Watermelon: it’s a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face.” - Enrico Caruso

“I have made a lot of mistakes falling in love, and regretted most of them, but never the potatoes that went with them.” - Nora Ephron

“Cauliflower is nothing but a cabbage with a college education.” - Mark Twain                      

“The first Zucchini I ever saw I killed with a hoe.” - John Gould

”The destiny of nations depends on the manner in which they feed themselves.” - Jean-Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

“Butter verses margarine?  I trust cows over scientists.” - Unknown

”The first law of dietetics seems to be: if it tastes good, it’s bad for you.” - Isaac Asimov

”You are what you eat. For example, if you eat garlic, you’re apt to be a hermit.” - Franklin P. Jones

“Always take a good look at what you’re about to eat.  It’s not so important to know what it is, but it’s critical to know what it was.” - Unknown

“Health food may be good for the conscience, but Oreos taste a heck of a lot better.” - Robert Redford

“Animals are my friends and I don’t eat my friends.” - George Benard Shaw

“I am a great eater of beef and I believe that it does harm to my wit.” - William Shakespeare

“Let nothing which can be treated by diet be treated by other means.” - Maimonides

“The doctor of the future will give no medication, but will interest his patients in the care of the human frame, diet and in the cause and prevention of disease.” - Thomas Edison

“He that takes medicine and neglects diet, wastes the skill of the physician.” - Chinese Proverb

“Never trust a dog to watch your food.” - Patrick, age 10 (Advice from Kids)

“I don’t like the turkey, but I like the bread he ate.” - Unknown 3 year old giving her appraisal of Christmas dinner

“My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.” - Buddy Hacket

“The remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.” - Calvin Trillin

“Never trust a skinny cook.” - Unknown

“If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, talks like a duck, it probably needs a little more time in the oven.” - Unknown

“Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all.” - Harriet Van Horne

“In cooking, as in the arts, simplicity is a sign of perfection.” - Curnonsky

“A recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation.” - Madame Benoit

“Only the pure of heart can make a good soup.” - Beethoven

“Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup.” - Henry Miller

“Truths are first clouds; then rain, then harvest and food.” - Henry Ward Beecher

“When women get depressd, they either eat or go shopping.  Men invade another country. It’s a whole different way of thinking.” - Elaine Boosler

“Never serve oysters in a month that has no paycheck in it.” - P. J. O’Rourke

“Food, like the loving touch or a glimpse of devine power, has the ability to comfort.” - Norman Kolpas

“Laughter is brightest where the food is best.” - Irish Proverb

“After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relatives.” - Oscar Wilde

”Red meat is not bad for you.  Now blue-green meat, that’s bad for you!” - Tommy Smothers

”It takes some skill to spoil a breakfast - even the English can’t do it.” - John Kenneth Galbraith

”Stomach: A slave that must accept everything that is given to it, but which avenges wrongs as slyly as does the slave.” - Emile Souvester

”The story of barbecue is the story of America: Settlers arrive on a great unspoiled continent, discover wonderous riches, set them on fire and eat them.” - Vince Staten

”The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you’re hungry again.” - George Miller

”Forget love - I’d rather fall in chocolate.” - Unknown

”All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast.” - John Gunther

”Anybody who believes that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach flunked geography.” - R. Byrne

”Those who forget the pasta are condemned to reheat it.” - Unknown

”If a man is alone in the kitchen and speaks, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?” - Unknown

“When the waitress puts the dinner on the table the old men look at the dinner.  The young men look at the waitress.” - Gelett Burgess

“Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.” - P. J. O’Rourke

“We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.” - Jeff Arder

“Never eat at a place called ‘Moms,’ but if the only other place in town has a sign that says ‘Eats,’ go back to Moms.” - W. C. Fields

“I’ll bet what motivated the British to colonize so much of the world is that they were just looking for a decent meal.” - Martha Harrison

“Why does man kill?  He kills for food.  And not only for food: frequently there must be a beverage.” - Woody Allen

“How lucious lies the pea within the pod.” - Emily Dickinson